The Proposal: She thought it was a funeral. She cried. She punched me. She flew to Philly… SHE SAID “YES.”

Friday, January 24th, 2020. 3:15 PST – Everything I had done to this point was out of love for her. I prevented her from getting paid. I stole her jewelry. I invoked the help of friends to deceive her. I lied to her face and blamed it on technology. I took her to Target. I …

The Best Thing I’ll Almost Definitely Never Do… Probably

The Summer Olympics are coming this year, just in time to save everyone but host Japan from the global economic recession and to save us from the depths the obviously impending World War 3. (I know what you’re thinking. You’re saying: “Yeah, Nick — or whoever you are — you just started blogging, you have …

Let’s get started: “Dear Internet…”

With little inhibition I’ve brainstormed copious ways to start this blog. More specifically, I’ve wrestled with what I want the first words to be. Is “Hello” too generic and therefore out of touch with many potential audiences? Does “Dear internet” lend itself to criticism that I’m presuming the internet will send two electrons in the …