With little inhibition I’ve brainstormed copious ways to start this blog. More specifically, I’ve wrestled with what I want the first words to be. Is “Hello” too generic and therefore out of touch with many potential audiences? Does “Dear internet” lend itself to criticism that I’m presuming the internet will send two electrons in the direction of my humble blog, or is it not sensitive enough to the fact that real people are behind the activity of the internet? (Or so we’re lead to believe.) Would “My name is Nick and I like to party” alienate too many – With little inhibition. The first words of my blog are: “With little inhibition.” We’ll see whether this becomes an omen or an auspice.
One more time from the top, this time with feeling:
Dear internet,
My name is Nicholas Bondy, but I go by Nick. I’ll also respond to “Bondy,” “Brick,” “Love,” and “Who wants nachos?” My pronouns are he/him.
In today’s post I will answer one very difficult question. Who am I? And one less difficult question. What do I hope to achieve with this blog?
Who am I?
This is difficult because there is so much to consider. For instance:
In many ways, this picture is a perfect representation of who I consider myself to be. A guy on a golf course giving it all he’s got and insisting on having fun, no matter the challenge presented, and no matter how ridiculous he looks doing it.
Typically I am right handed, possess fully functioning ankles, and have more than a mini-golf putter at my disposal, but I will say that my fashion sense was atypically brilliant here.
This is Nick with little inhibition. (Not that the previous picture featured much more than this one.)
A couple years ago, this was also me. I strongly believe that everyone, but especially guys should donate their hair at least once.
To find my defining characteristic, let’s start at the beginning. When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much they insert a shit-eating conehead into their previously meticulously managed lives. Yes, that is a literal description of my entrance into this world. It’s a story for another day, but to satiate your interest for now, I’ll give the dachshund version (quite short, but also somehow too long?). I had to stay an extra day at the hospital due to jaundice that gave doctors worry about potential meningitis. I got a spinal tap to check, but as it turns out, I had inhaled my own feces during labor and would go home the next day. As the first born I couldn’t wait to enter into this world of love and pampering, so when I finally pushed through my dome was misshapen into a cone that required a helmet to flatten.
As a result, my parents like to say that my life has been an adventure since the start. Not a finding Atlantis – The Lost Empire form of adventure (which, by the way, is a criminally underrated movie), but in the way that there’s always a plot twist. For instance, even when I’m just going to the local grocery store I’ll routinely find myself someplace new. While my nose for directions has anosmia, my nose for adventure has hyperosmia. (If you ever need further proof that a bad comedian created the English language, see this exhibit where anosmia and hyperosmia are not only real words, but also direct opposites.)
Through and through I am an adventurer. The world always has a new discovery waiting for me. My discoveries extend beyond geographical locations to lifestyles, media, personal proficiencies, food experiences and a gluten intolerance. (Not all discoveries are wonderful.) In undergrad, if you called on me for pizza, I would have been over in a flash with my fresh, fluffy dough and my lovingly discolored pizza stone. I can’t digest pizza anymore, but it’s absolutely 100% fine because frozen cauliflower is like way totally better anyway. I SAID IT’S BETTER WHY DON’T YOU BELIEVE ME!?
Wow, pardon, I’m not sure what just came over me, but the takeaway message here is that I am an adventurer and that my emotions are definitely under control at all times. Anyway, let’s move on to the next question:
What do I hope to achieve with this blog?
I love telling stories, and I love making jokes. I hope that my efforts to this point highlight these drives, but I believe that a blog format will allow me to tell stories, tell jokes, and tell jokes in stories. I’m using this page as a way to share my creativity with the world in a way I’ve never been able to before. What hasn’t been clear thus far is my final drive to be a positive impact on others. As a fan of both equal rights and baseball, I’ll use any excuse I to quote Jackie Robinson: “A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.” I hope that I can have a positive impact on you, reader/internet. I hope that by reading my post your smile gets broader, or that you think about your day in a different way, or that you learn a crazy fun fact you can impress your friends with at a party.
Parting Thought:
I’ll finish every post with something to think about. Sometimes it will be goofy, existential, personal, or some combination thereof. Today’s falls under the combination thereof category:
We consider cats and dogs relatively intelligent animals. (My dog, Ares, knows 7 different tricks for food. He’s basically as smart as a fifth grader.) However, neither cats nor dogs have the brainpower to recognize their own reflection in the mirror.
This leads us to our parting thought for today: What phenomena might be staring you in the face that you are unable to recognize?
Nick Bondy used to think he was a Leo, but he’s been a cancer the whole time. He blames the stars for the false sense of loyalty and courage, when all along he’s been harboring unrealized environmental sensitivity and unflappable self-protection.
Nick is a dog-lover, MBA candidate, 2x fantasy football champion, and the second-best water skier his family has ever seen.